Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize