I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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