Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
