My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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