after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
