it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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