Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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