My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
