i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
