all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
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thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
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So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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