only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
