He passed out mid-signature
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
