Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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