Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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