I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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