We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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