I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
