i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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