:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
