Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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