my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
