U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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