she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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