i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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