Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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