thus making me awesome and them whores
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
