Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
