i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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