he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Is it penis luge time yet?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Randomize
