Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
