Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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