Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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