I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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