May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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