Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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