yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
