I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
