cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
