Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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