Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
