guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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