Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
