just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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