he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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