He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
