wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
