We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
