Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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