I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize