At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you traded sex for a burrito?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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