Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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