Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
