Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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