don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
birth control should be required to get into college
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
