I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
