i just wanna soil my oats bro
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
