I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
