ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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