he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize