DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
