He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
