You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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